A dive bar is in the eye of the beholder. For us, it’s any bar where the main focus is drinking. It should have a minimum of hipster cache (except for the odd floppy-hair out for a bit of slumming). The words “ultra” and “lounge” can’t appear in the name unless it’s something like Bubba’s Ultrahonky Lounge and Mud Wrasslin’ Pit.

The customer base should slant toward the aging and near-dead, with the waning strength of their livers all that stands between the bar owner and financial ruin. To call a bar a dive is to bestow a high compliment. We’re sure all the bars in heaven are dive bars.

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